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Isn't Limerence just another way of saying Love Addict?
I stumbled across the word Limerence about a year ago and was fascinated.
On Limerence
Dorothy Tennov, an American psychologist, introduced the term limerence with her publication in 1979 called ‘love and limerence’.
According to Tennov limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment, preoccupations with the love object, and (as new research on brain chemistry shows) a similar mind-state to obsessive compulsive disorder.
Limerence has certain basic components according to Tennov:
- Intrusive thinking about the limerent object.
- Acute longing for reciprocation.
- Some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means reciprocation.
- Fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object’s presence.
- Intensification through adversity.
- Acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise, fabricate, or invent “reasonable” explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
- A general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background.
- A remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute.
The complex obsessive/compulsive thought processes that Tennov discusses is identical to what sex and love addicts call romantic intrigue and fantasy. While there are many variations of and types of sex and love addiction it seems Tennov is referring to love addiction in particular. The only differences, so far as i can see, are the definitions. Tennov, coming from a psychological perspective, suggests that limerence be considered a type of obsessive/compulsive disorder. I don’t disagree. I just wanted to draw the connection between the two and see what others have to say about this connection.
I like, however, how 12 step programs deal almost entirely in a solution to the addiction. So while Tennov makes clear and shed’s light on the love addict’s thought processes the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous literature and program help to put the addiction in remission. As opposed to simply analyzing it and allow it to take it’s course for what she says is on average of 3years and can sometimes last a lifetime.
Related and Interesting Articles
Scientist’s discover true love
The Power of Love by Psychology Today
‘Limerence’ makes the heart grow far too fonder by USA Today
A Scientist looks at love and calls it limerence
Limerence Experienced – Tribe.Net
Love Addiction – Obsessive relationships
Sex and Love Addict Relationships
Strung Out on Love and Checked In for Treatment by The New York Times
Oh, Limerence…I’m a love addict
40 Questions for Self Diagnosis – Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
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